Why I Chose to Major in English
By the end of January, I will be finished with my undergraduate career. I will then be separated from my identity as an “English major” and for the first time, exist in the “real world.” My college career has been nothing I expected—perhaps I will write another piece on some of the slightly chaotic experiences I had. A part of this unexpected journey was in my decision to declare English as my major at a school known for business.
When a big change in my life is imminent, it oftentimes takes over my thoughts; endless questions, scenarios, plans, plans, plans twirl around my mind! Early in my junior year of high school, I was non-stop thinking about where I would go to college and what I would study. At that time, I was set on becoming an environmental designer. I wanted to build living structures that do not disrupt their natural surroundings. During the summer before my senior year, I worked as an assistant landscaper at Manitoga, the late Russel Wright’s estate in Garrison, NY. He had designed his house into the natural formations of the surrounding land which was well-preserved. The house blended into the environment and being there every day that summer made my excitement for environmental design grow.
The University of Vermont was the best college choice for any sort of environmental degree. As an always-anxious-for-the-future person, I applied for early admission. I got in and was thrilled. But as the months progressed, the realizations of what college life would be like set in. I wasn’t sure that I wanted to be a part of a “traditional” college. I’ve always been quite independent and never related to the culture of college campuses. Plus, I don’t ski! New York City became intriguing to me. There, I would be able to live in an apartment with my own room! Plus, with roommates, it would cost a fraction of room and board fees on campus. I also would only be an hour and a half train ride away from my parents; I don’t think I was ready to be far away from them. There were a couple of other reasons, but it was settled after I got into The New School (regular admissions). Struck, yet happy, with the change, I found myself in a sort of “let’s just see where my life takes me” mode. My environmental design dreams faded away, but who knows, maybe I’ll find myself doing something like that in the future.
At the New School, I took a variety of liberal arts classes that had sparked my interest when creating my schedule. Being able to choose what I would learn felt freeing to me, and was a satisfying difference from my high school career. I took creative writing, literature analysis, and religion courses. The Socratic style of the New School allowed me to have my own ideas and opinions, and for those ideas and opinions to be respected and contemplated. I absolutely loved this time and treasure everything it gave to me. However, during the summer after my first year, I started feeling some societal pressure. I felt like I had to study something that would produce a clear, wide-open door to a steady career. So, I decided to transfer to the Baruch College business school.
Honestly. I was in Baruch’s business school for one semester until I switched to their liberal arts school. I have a ton of respect for those business students; it is tough work. Though, I’m sure that those who love it and find it inspiring don’t mind the workload as much. (I mean, I’m sure that those who do not have a particular affinity towards literature would cringe at the thought of a class solely on Shakespeare.) Business school just wasn’t for me. I found myself back at square one, lost in all the different choices and paths. At this time, I was interested in and was able to see myself doing anything. I still find it both exciting and terrifying that there are so many different things one can do with their life. I’m glad that I’ve found a niche that I truly love, finally. But it has taken some time.
The date to declare a major was steadily approaching. My first idea was to create an Ad Hoc major which my college offers. I had developed a “Song Writing and Music Production” major which included a mixture of classes in the English and music departments. The person I had to go to in the music department to approve this major did not like it, though. That was the end of that, but I took the English classes anyway. I felt myself gravitating back to the creative analytical style of learning that I had loved so much at the New School. Still figuring out what I would declare, I remembered something I had done in high school.
When I was a senior, my English teacher gave me a flier to a book club at a local library. The group met for a semester’s length where each section of time was dedicated to a different topic of literature. This particular topic was on the “Great Works.” The flier provided a list of texts including The Epic of Gilgamesh, The Bhagavad Gita, and King Lear. I was the only member under the age of 70 except the leader of the book club, a New York University professor whose name, unfortunately, has escaped my memory. In the basement of that library was where I traveled to Uruk, analyzing humanity’s first attempts at understanding morality. I sat with Arjuna, contemplating the ethics of warring with blood relatives. I found myself tapping into these memories, the ones with my writing and reading groups at the New School, and all the other times when the English language invoked feelings of complete fascination and curiosity. Those moments were also coupled with a feeling of being present and free. I had a realization that when I worried about the future—might I add, a future not necessarily guaranteed, speculative—I ended up putting myself in places where I was unhappy. When I wasn’t worrying, I found myself diving into the depths of reality, the tenets of humanity, and the underbelly of craft.
It felt like a weight was lifted off of me when I declared English as my major. Partially because I had finally made a decision, but mainly because I relieved myself from feeling like I needed to fit into a box that was simply not made for me. Besides, after being a part of the English world for the rest of my college career, I realized how many useful, professional skills are taught in these courses. I believe that anything anyone does can add something to their professional life, even if that thing does not clearly identify itself as a life skill.
In declaring my major as English was a realization that I had neglected a huge part of my identity and happiness for the image of stability. It seems like new or soon-to-be college students are told or have this idea that college must be used only for the sake of securing a well-paying, stable job. I definitely felt that pressure. But the reality is, especially if you are going to college straight out of high school, you are most likely still developing your identity. College should be a time to explore, try new things, test what works and what doesn’t. I only regret not having this realization sooner so that I would have had more time being in the classes that I actually enjoyed. I hope this piece inspires those of you starting your college careers to just follow your curiosity; follow what inspires you and makes you happy. You have so much time until you need to think of a salary, use it to find what makes you, you. Thank you for reading!
